when in doubt, remember well

i've wanted to update my blog for a while now. my last one was written in june of 2009. lots of life has happened for me since then--many great things, many awesome and unforseen changes, and many joys that i feel are definitely worthy of expression. one of them is that i am engaged to be married to the most amazing man of God i know. :) aj and i are planning a wedding for june of this year and are so excited and thankful for God's sovereign hand in bringing us together in the special way that He did. i reckon we may start a blog for our wedding (or for our life together!) some time soon, though he is not much of a blogger. a writer, expresser, communicator? yes. an excellent one. but he doesn't feel the need to share his ponders with the world like i do. and so....we'll see how that goes. :)

so back to wanting to write. i've tried to analyze and figure out why i haven't taken time, or even had a slight urge, to blog through some of my big and joyous moments over the last six months. i've come to the conclusion that i write best, and desire to put it on paper (or on screen) way more when i am going through a trial or difficulty of some kind. the difficulty hasn't always been the topic of my writing, but it leads me to write. i think that is the only way i can explain to myself why i haven't written in some more recent times. not that there aren't challenges placed before me during these times: they're there.....but not the kind that cause my heart to need a release.

switching gears a little bit (but it all relates in my mind, because i'm true to the stereotype of a 'all things run together like spaghetti' woman), i like that i can look back through my journals and blogs and be reminded of what God was teaching me and how He was changing me. i was listening to a sermon online this morning by Brent @ In Focus Church and his main point was how important it is to REMEMBER the things God has done, and specific things about who He is, to carry us through difficult times when we may easily feel tossed by the wind, confused by emotion, mislead by "signs" and assumptions, or just plain discouraged and down. i find myself sometimes quickly forgetting the specific workings of God's spirit in my life, the specific ways He showed His faithfulness during a time of doubt, and i like Brent's challenge to actively remember God and remember truths about him to keep us grounded in what's important when we think through decisions or respond to hardships.

as 2010 begins, i want to actively remember God and His unwavering friendship and guidance in my life.
i may or may not blog about what i'm going through, or what i'm learning throughout this year. i'm not sure why i actually buckled down today to even write this one, but we'll see.

i am ok with not having a plan. :)