why we love

so i was watching "the bachelorette" last night. yes, i'm one of those. anyway, the current bachelorette, deanna, got in a tizzy one afternoon because the guys were playing and hanging out with each other more than they were attending to her. one guy was pouting inside because he was so nervous about his date with her that night. another guy had already ticked her off because he refused a kiss that she asked for. deanna sat all the men down, and scolded them for being selfish. she told them to go home if they didn't want to be there, if they weren't there for her.

in a discussion with my sister and friends, we decided the deanna was bent more towards the men who went out of their way to show her attention. in the songwriting, singing contest, she chose as a winner the guy who touched her hand while he sang to her. as far as the rose ceremony goes, she kicked off the guys (with the exception of one) who weren't going out of their way to be different, to show her that they were unique and that she was special.

deanna isn't necessarily wrong in these choices. maybe her little spat was a bit much. but it didn't take the guys long to figure out why she was mad. they realized it was because they were too wrapped up in each other, and not giving her enough attention.

it's funny....how we tend to love people who love us first.

i think this is our human nature. i know it's mine. it's even in the bible- our love for God is -originally- a response to His love for us.

while we all know that loving without knowing we'll be loved in return is a risk worth taking, i wonder how often people end up loving somebody just because they are certain the love will be returned. they are in a safe relationship, that they chose, because they knew what the outcome would be. i wonder if people sometimes lend their affections to people who simply offer a little bit of their own first at no cost and without asking for it in return.

are we really just selfish lovers, who love so we can be loved?

i wanna be an unselfish lover. it's not in me. i need help with it.

"It [love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
1 Corinthians 13:5